Part time

I went to my boss a couple months ago, asking to work part time next year. She has known for four years now that this was my plan when we had a baby. When I talked to her, I knew she wouldn't give me an answer right away, but she was very positive, encouraging, and said she would let me know as soon as she found out (the decision is above her head). At first, I felt kind of hopeful because of the way they talk to me and tell me how much they want me there. The problem with special education, at least in the district I work in, is that we are pretty much at the bottom of the totem pole of importance. They never hire enough speech therapists, etc, and they just end up spreading us as thin as possible. For example, the Texas Speech and Hearing Association states that your caseload should only be 40-45. That doesn't even count workload. My caseload this year is close to 70, and has been as high as 100 in the past. How ridiculous for administration to think that's okay to do to their employees? But I figure I'm organized and efficient with my time, so I get the job done. I want to tell my bosses that the district isn't going to build schools, and not hire enough teachers! But they feel like they can do that with special ed. Anyway, I called my boss today to see if she had an answer for me. Disappointingly, she was unemotional and just straight forward with me. She didn't tell me no (yet), but she said she doesn't have an answer, and it doesn't look good. That's it?!! After four years of dedication, loyalty, and very hard work, that's the answer I get? I just have a feeling that when I ask her again in a few weeks, she'll just say no to part time altogether. I just feel really sad about the whole thing because 1)I've been a really good employee for them, 2)I've always had such respect for my bosses, 3)I feel like they should fight for people they want. I don't think they're fighting for my position at all! Maybe I'm just being unrealistic and in a fantasy world, but I believed her when she said she would do everything she could to keep me. Why would you want to keep having turnover and have to train new people (you never really know who you're gonna get), when the parents and kids you work with feel comfortable and like their speech therapists? I guess it doesn't matter that much to the administration, but I see it differently.
So I'm just going to keep praying about it, and if God closes this door, I pray that he clearly opens another one. I just want to stay home a little with my baby!